<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Too Many Clauses by Corvidology</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599504">Too Many Clauses</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvidology/pseuds/Corvidology'>Corvidology</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Battle Creek (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Christmas, First Kiss, Lack of Communication, M/M, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:35:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>695</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvidology/pseuds/Corvidology</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I offer ficlets for the 12 Days of Christmas to my mates and Brumeier prompted me with: Anything Christmas-adjacent.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Russ Agnew/Milt Chamberlain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Too Many Clauses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/gifts">Brumeier</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So what you're saying is Santa Claus is on the loose."</p><p>"Santa Clauses." Guz corrected him.</p><p>"That doesn't sound right." </p><p>He turned to look at Milt who looked back a fraction too long before nodding. When had he started relying on Milt to be right?</p><p>"How do you know we're having trouble with multiple Santas what with the beard and big red suit? It makes for a great disguise."</p><p>"While witness descriptions are often unreliable, I think most of them can tell the difference between one that's five feet tall and one over six feet."  </p><p>Milt was using his calm, logical voice, the one he hated but he was smiling at Russ so he'd try to let it go.</p><p>"He might have been wearing lifts." He fought the impulse to cross his arms. </p><p>"Twelve inch lifts? I don't think even RuPaul could manage those." Guz stood up from her desk. "We're done here. I've got to get to the mayor's holiday party and you've got some Clauses to catch."</p><p> </p><p>Despite it having some serious competition, it was his worst Christmas Eve ever. The streets of Battle Creek were swarming with Santas. He'd stopped pulling their beards off to get a better look after he'd made a kid cry who'd then kicked him in the shins. Then he'd tackled a Santa running down Michigan Avenue, finding out the hard way he was a karate sensei late to his students' Christmas party who assumed Russ was a mugger.  At least Milt managed to explain before he got seriously injured but he'd have yet another black eye to show for it. </p><p> </p><p>It was Font and Funk who weren't even on duty who finally caught the 'errant' Santas, as Milt phrased it, after getting a call to tell them to stop looking. The Santas still in full costume, AKA Billy and Richie Small, had got blind drunk in the bar Font and Funk were hanging out in and started holding forth on how cunning they'd been.  There was no question that Battle Creek needed a better class of criminal. </p><p> </p><p>Milt fussed over him far more than usual but he turned down a visit to the hospital having everything he needed to treat his injuries at home. Milt drove him there, insisting on coming in with him. When he got back from using the head, Milt was sat on his couch wearing a Santa hat. </p><p>The handsome bastard could make even the hat look great. "You look ridiculous." Since Brock had shot Milt, he'd had to finally admit to himself how deep his feelings for Milt went but that didn't mean he had to embarrass himself by letting him know. Talk about punching above his weight. He'd settled for stealing glances at him every now and again.  </p><p>"Why don't you sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas?" Milt patted his knee. </p><p>He sat down heavily on the other end of the couch. </p><p>"I'm not fussy." Milt moved closer until their thighs were touching. "I'll sit on your lap if you'd rather."</p><p>"You asshole." Now he knew why Milt had been giving him those odd looks for months and now on Christmas Eve of all nights he was going to make fun of Russ for lov— wanting to fuck him. </p><p>He stood up abruptly but Milt caught hold of his wrist and pulled him back down onto his lap which, he wasn't going to lie, was a great place to be but Milt didn't need to know that. He started to get up again but Milt stopped him by kissing him until he couldn't remember where he'd been going. </p><p>"We're both assholes." Milt kissed him again. "And great detectives. I noticed you, noticing me noticing you, noticing— finally got up the nerve to do something about it."</p><p>This Christmas Eve was looking up after all. He liked Milt reduced to garbling English. When he stood up, Milt let him go, disappointment written all over his face but he stretched out his hand and Milt took it, standing up as well. </p><p>Perhaps he could even render Milt speechless, given time. "My bedroom's this way. Bring the hat."</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>